No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
