I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
