im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
