You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
