I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
