Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
