dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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