The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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