The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
