yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
