At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
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