he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just blew my weed a kiss
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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