I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
