You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
