Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
