yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
