Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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