this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
