I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
