there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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