PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
As shirtless as possible
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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