I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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