you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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