"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
