Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
