The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
