No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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