I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
