im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
