Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
