All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
