Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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