you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
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