I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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