I hate your face
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
