You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
