"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
