Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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