you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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