You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
