hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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