In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You may now shotgun with the bride
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Randomize
