Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
