I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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