We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
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