About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
