We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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