I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
