K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
if only i could text you this smell
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
