She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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