if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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