Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
