Pregnant stripper...not hot.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
