remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Fuck appropriateness.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
