what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
